| Emilie's Journal | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Item type | Book |
| Owner | Emilie |
| Magic Qualities | None known |
| Restrictions | None known |
| Carried by | Emilie |
Emilie Barrowman's journal. She started making entries the night following her boarding of the carriage in the first session. Emilie journals once a night when able. Because she writes with no filter, she is quite protective of it and never lets it off of her person.
Parts of the journal have been withheld by Emilie's player because other players are not yet aware of their content.
March 15, 0[]
Corresponding Session: A Carriage Catastrophe
Of all the things I imagined might go wrong today, what just happened was not one of them. Having earned enough money doing odd jobs to afford new armor and weapons (saving money is much easier when you have no cost of living!), I chose to take a caravan bus toward Glavdell in order to find some dirt on Southpaw and to start building rapport as a crusader. Again.
I'm also giving journaling a shot. People with far less interesting lives document their days; why shouldn't I? On that note, screw this fancy cursive junk. [Prior to this sentence, the journal was written in cursive.] Who am I trying to impress?
In any case, I was on a wagon to Glavdell. This tool called Sebastian was sitting across from me, jabbering away about how important he was, for whatever reason suited him. Eventually he fell asleep, thank the gods, but I hardly had time to enjoy the peace -- the bus was attacked by a group of bandits! They seemed to be organized under the command of a young human man who would whistle different melodies to issue orders. The whistling seemed somehow familiar. I can't put my finger on it... I'm sure it will come back to me. There were many able-bodied and armed passengers on the bus -- I was fortunate. With the help of a whiny gnome, I was able to fell one of the bandits. I never saw, but other passengers say the leader flickered as a false image. Was he ever there? We took a bandit hostage, and found scribbled notes on the two dead ones. The rest of the bandits fled, and the leader disappeared.
I'll admit I expected killing a person would be much harder. I used to think that when the time came, I would need days to recover. But I don't feel much of anything. After trying to kill innocent people for no clear reason, that bandit was so far from being a person in my mind that I suppose it wasn't vastly different from decapitating scarecrows at Crandalwood. We made our way to Creston, where we are being offered rooms until another caravan can give us a lift. I might stay though. It's nice here. Our illusory assailant is wanted for 100,000 gold, I see. I don't care about the bounty, but I do care about renown -- and, of course, justice.
That was weird. The elf girl is sharing a room with me. She just came in and called me naive, and then jumped out the window. Maybe she died.
Anyway, this so-called Nightingale Bandit chose a bad mark. I don't think he's Southpaw, but I don't care. He's going down!
-- Emilie
March 16, 0[]
Corresponding Session: A Monastery's Mysteries
We interrogated the hostage last night and discovered that the bandits, Nightingale excepted, were just hired swords. What kind of mastermind is this kid, and what does he want? We learned that the number of lines on the scribbled notes were code for place, and the number of curves were code for date. We don't have the key though. We let the hostage go. I met Isaac, a likeable craftsman. And Kal, a dwarf who likes cats.
Isaac has his own room. I wish I had thought of that. Reapplying makeup in secret is a pain. I had a bit of a fight with the gnome, Namfoodle. He was keeping the notes from me and treating me like a greenhorn. I tackled him and took the notes. I gave them back, it's fine. But he's really upset with me. There were 13 lines (location) and 103 curves (date) on each of the notes. The cleric that killed a bandit yesterday, Vic (I think), helped me. We went into town and bought a few things (I'm saying "we" a lot -- do I have my group?). It seems a lot of folks are emmigrating because of the strange disappearances. Another mystery! We next found ourselves at the Creston Monastery. The monks here seem to have government control in the town.
There had been a commotion just hours before in the records room. We were asked to investigate, in exchange for services. We didn't find what caused the commotion, but we did find the long-missing bookkeeper with a quill through his eye, lodged somewhere in his brain. I'm sure he'll be fine...
There was a riddle on his desk using imagery like "herons" and "fish." Adreyan, the guy showing us around, said that the heron was a symbol of the order of monks that eventually became the current one centuries ago. I wondered if the "fish" were supposed to be enemies of the current order, but it was actually Namfoodle who figured out that "muzzling" the heron meant physically clasping the beak of a relief depicting a heron that was in the Monastery mead cellar. I feel like there should have been commas somewhere in that sentence.
This is the part that I still can't believe though: the relief in the floor slid away to reveal a ladder leading down even further beneath the monastery! I admit, I got carried away and threw caution to the wind. This is the stuff I've always DREAMT of! The architecture seems to outdate the monks, which is strange because there is still heron imagery down there. But the pillars that support the monastery seem elven in design; perhaps the work of the natives of this land.
We ended up fighting a bunch of nasty undead (the mindless kind) down there. Namfoodle and Tahlarien (the elf bitch) got ghoul fever, but the rest of us are fine. We found a bunch of cool stuff too. I got a bag of holding and some cool ointment from a chest. No idea what the ointment does... but it's cool.
Corresponding Session: A Tome of Time
Further inside, we found a spike trap that Namfoodle then disarmed, and a huge gallery with tables lined up along the wall. At the tables were seated corpses, but stranger than that were the candles on the tables. They had burned out ages ago and only blackened stumps remain, but they were also still new and alight. I can't really describe it well -- the candles were used up, but in the same place was the likeness of a new candle that was actively giving off light.
And then, something literally unbelievable happened. Slowly, excruciatingly, my heart began to beat. I have no explanation for it whatsoever. It doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. But it happened again... several times while we were down there. I was so distracted that I almost couldn't focus on the fight we were presented with. But WHAT a fight it was! This huge shambling mess was all decayed and chained to the wall, but when Isaac got close it turned out it was just PRETENDING to be chained there and was really just waiting for us to get close so it could attack. It took a lot of punishment from us, and ripped my sword right out of my hand, but I was able to pierce its shoulder with a javelin. Then Isaac brought me my sword and I used the flat of it to strike the javelin deeper into the shoulder! It fell on the ground and I drove that sucker into the ground like a spike! It was really difficult to get the javelin out again after that but oh my gods, worth it.
Up the hall a ways, Namfoodle found another heron relief, and he was able to reveal a small cache likewise hidden within it. There was a weighty tome of some sort, and a couple of elven ghosts rose up and started fighting over what should be done with the contents of the tome. It was all massively confusing, and I admit I was relieved when they vanished and silence returned.
Vic licked a torch holder, and opened a secret passage back to the monastery grounds. Thanks? We got Tahla into bed and healed up, but there wasn't enough medicine for Namfoodle, so he'll have to go elsewhere I guess. I want to keep exploring, but everyone was tired, so I came back to the inn and wrote about it instead. I want to go out again!
--Emilie
March 17, 0[]
Corresponding Session: A Forested Frolic
Today was an interesting mixture of mysterious and aggravating. We all came back to the monastery in the morning to continue investigating. We didn't find anything interesting in the late bookkeeper's office, so we were headed toward the catacombs again when I spotted this spooky woman who keeps showing up, headed into the forest. She's a new monk at the monastery but that's all I know for sure. I was going to ask for help identifying some of the bodies in the dungeon, but she was making a deliberate run into the woods. I split off from the others to figure out what was up, only to find her in a handoff with The Nightingale Bandit! There was a scary-looking elf there too. He was perhaps the most disturbing part of the whole event. He had a knife inlaid into his ear and was covered in scars and... horrifyingly... was wearing the armor of the royal army. I don't know what this means. I know I should tell the others, but I'm afraid of what it implies. After all, I've only got this one thing to hold onto. If the crown is involved in this, I have no idea what's left for me.
After the trio dispersed, I kind of got lost, but I eventually found the road back to Creston and made my way to the monastery again. But I found that everyone had left, looking for me. So I returned to the damned forest and found them all searching for me like I'd been eaten by a bear or something. Then the trees starting attacking us??? I don't know; I'm so confused. Namfoodle has a plan to figure out what the creepy lady is up to. I didn't want all this espionage and conflicting interests! I just wanted the action.
--Emilie
March 18, 0[]
Corresponding Session: The Great Gamlet Gamble
Gods, what a day. It seemed to drag on forever. Tahlarien. That insufferable bitch!! I don’t know what she thinks I did to her, but she has made me regret ever saying a word to her. More than I thought was possible. I can’t believe I prefer the times when she would simply chastise me for every comment I made. Now she jabs at me even if I’m not doing anything! And not one person has come to my defense. Not a single time. Not even Isaac, who I thought was becoming a good friend of mine. And Tahla – she talks about being a woman in a man’s world as if she’s the only one who knows what that’s like. She blames all of her attitude on the fact that I’m a woman and she’s afraid of being overshadowed by me. That’s such bull! If anyone’s going to overshadow her, it’s going to be a man. But don’t get me wrong, I’ll do my best to make her look like the alcoholic failure of a person that she is.
She almost caught me today. She was so close. I don’t think she knows, but whatever her reasons were, she came inches from blowing me wide open for all the others to see. I can’t let that happen again. Maybe I’ll stop spending mealtime with them and I’ll just say I’m self-conscious because of Tahla’s comments. But I know I can’t hide forever. Someday, whether it’s with this party or another, I’m going to be discovered. I just hope that when that day comes, any ties I’ve forged are strong enough to withstand the blow.
Corresponding Session: A Bardic Barrage
We found The Nightingale Bandit today. He made complete fools of all of us and nearly killed Isaac. A crushing defeat is just what I needed today. Maybe I was just kidding myself thinking I could accomplish something in this lifetime. What if my death was a sign? What if that's when I was supposed to die, because the gods had given up on me? Well, chalk one up for another reason to hate Southpaw.
--Emilie
I’m scared. I’m so scared – of myself, of Tahlarien, of what’s going to happen to me… I miss Matthias. Hell, I’d even smile if I could see Menki again. Just someone to fold into and forget all that’s happened. I hate this so much. I hate my dad. I hate Southpaw. I hate what’s left of me and I’m just so scared all the damn time. I can’t even escape into sleep. I can’t even cry anymore.
I thought writing that down might help.
Oh, well.
--Olivia
March 19, 0[]
Corresponding Session: An Exercise in Exodus
Not much happened today. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details. A plant monster did something to me so my head is kind of fuzzy. We killed it though. I saved Tahlarien. Didn't think twice about it. I was closest and she needed help. What do you call it when you save someone you can't stand? Family. I think you call it family. Ugh I'm going to make myself vomit.
--Emilie
PS: Not literally going to make myself vomit I'M NOT ANOREXIC TAHLARIEN
March 21, 0[]
Corresponding Session: Wildlife and Werewolves
Didn't journal yesterday because it was raining and we camped outside, but nothing happened anyway. Today I find myself in a war-torn village. The people here are kind, but not friendly. I don't blame them. Anyone would have trust issues after whatever took place here.
I saw a naga for the first time today. He was absolutely beautiful. Horrendously evil, and a dirty personality, but... beautiful on the outside all the same. And we killed him. It really hurt, actually. More than when I killed that bandit last week, which should probably worry me. To watch as something that exquisite just came apart before my eyes. Like a hot knife through butter. Blood everywhere. Body parts flying off without ceremony. And I took part in that.
A stoic, majestic beast. He's spent years growing, changing, becoming something. Becoming who we met today.
Slice.
He'll limp for the rest of his life.
Slice.
He'll never have tentacles on the left side of his face again. He'll never be able to adorn them with the rings he likes.
Slice.
He'll find he can't swim quickly anymore because breathing becomes too much work.
Slice.
And he's gone.
Death is always ugly. There is no beauty in death.
Gods, I'm depressing. I wonder if the others like to be around me. I think I like to be around them.
--Emilie
March 22, 0[]
Corresponding Session: Disguised and Distressed
Tahla's gone.
I don't really know how else to put that. She just got up in the middle of the night and left. I would have stopped her, but she was being so quiet. If I'd made a fuss, she would know I hadn't been sleeping. I don't know why it stung so much. I'm supposed to hate her, right? I did feel relief when everyone was making a big deal about her disappearance but... I guess I am going to miss her a little. She was kind of like a big sister. But like, in a really terrible, unhealthy way.
In other news, we reached Flowburg today! Turns out everyone's looking for us, all over Enderland. Fortunately, whoever they hired to draw us is awful at everything. Even so, we've been taking measures to keep our identities hidden. Ironically, I'm pretending that my real hair is a wig, and I've stopped wearing the wig that I was pretending was my real hair. I hope this doesn't bite me in the butt. I should be fine. The problem at hand is much more immediate.
--Emilie
March 23, 0[]
IT BIT ME IN THE BUTT
IT BIT ME REALLY DAMN HARD IN THE BUTT
LIKE, IT STUFFED MY WHOLE BUTT INTO ITS MOUTH AND JUST TOOK A CHOMP
MATTHIAS IS HERE!!!! WHY?? Of ALL the people in the military, stationed ALL over Enderland, why would HE be HERE?
He knew who I was. He followed me. I couldn't even look at him. I just needed to get away from him, whatever it took.
And now I'm free and safe and back at the inn waiting for the departure time for the boat and I'm stuck wondering... why did I run? Would it really be so bad if he found me? In the moment I was so immediately sure that him recognizing me would be a one-way ticket to the Abyssal Plane but... really, what would happen? We would have... a lot to talk about. And it would be hard. Maybe I'd be safe again though.
No. That's stupid. I'm finally on the adventure I've always wanted to have. What am I hoping we could go back to? I had nothing. Well, I had a heartbeat, but I mean at least now things HAPPEN to me. If I try to become part of Matthias' life again, it'll consume me. The friends I've made, and the places I've been, and the things I've been able to do... they'll all just be memories. And what if he doesn't want to do what I want to do?
If I see him again... I'm going to talk to him. He deserves that much.
And maybe I'll just let him hold me tighter and tighter and tighter and never let go and I'll just be happy in his arms forever.
Or maybe he won't want to.
He definitely won't want to.
And I won't be able to take that.
So I have to run.
I have to keep running from the one person I care about... so that I don't lose him too.
--Emilie
March 24, 0[]
Corresponding Session: A Punishing Past
So I'll have more time to figure out how I feel about Tahla
because
she's
back.
She didn't say why she left of course. And it's anyone's guess why she's interested in spending any more time with us.
In Trapden we ran into one of Isaac's old friends. He's an interesting character; a chatty lizardfolk man called Lizzy. He kind of came off as a nervous wreck by first impressions, but Isaac agreed to meet with him tomorrow night. I don't think we have any plans till then.
OH MY GODS I forgot the most important thing that happened today! I figured out what that ointment does. It slows decay 36500 percent! No more worrying about running out of Gentle Repose! Now all I have to do is apply makeup regularly. With this, I should be fine for at least a few years. I'm starting to wonder if getting resurrected really is the right thing to do. I mean... I hate my body the way it is. I really do. But there are undeniable advantages to being dead. Yeah, I have to wear lots of makeup and keep my wound covered, but for that price, I no longer have to eat or drink or anything like that. Food for thought, to be sure.
I don't know what I'm going to do for the next day. It's not exactly the kind of town I want to explore. I think I'll try to make something. I've watched Isaac enough to know where to start I think. Guess I'm headed back to the marketplace. I hope they have everything I need.
--Emilie
March 25, 0[]
Isaac is Southpaw. I can't believe this.
Okay not Southpaw itself but he's worked with them.
I'm so angry I don't even know what to do. I want to leave but I don't have anywhere to go. I don't even know where I am. The truth is, I'm a wanted woman. I can't forget that. I need to get out of Enderland. So taking this ship is probably the best option. I can start a new life in Sangor I guess. I just feel lost and confused. I'm literally just floating through each coming day. I think that the only thing that motivates anything I do lately is the promise of adventure. And if there's one thing I can count on these people for, it's fulfilling that promise..
This is pathetic. I'm relying on other people constantly. How did it take me so long to notice?
I'm not going to follow the lead of a backstabbing fake like Isaac. Or anyone. From now on, I swear to myself to take my fate into my own hands. If that fate lies with Isaac and the others for now, so be it. But from now on, everything I do, I do because I actively want to.
Okay. Goals.
- Figure out what's going on with the time magic stuff
- Turn whatever I find into a way to show my merit as a warrior
- Come home and purge Atamant and Lanaea from Enderland
- Join the army after I've stopped the corruption
- Kill everyone in Southpaw, and anyone who gets in my way
- Let Isaac stand in awe of the fact that he used to travel with me
- Beat up the Nightingale Bandit if he shows up
- And above all, come back to life.
Nothing is going to stop me. This is my story, and I refuse to just follow the crowd. My home is falling apart, and if I don't hold it together, no one will.
--Emilie Barrowman